You are watching: Do i say i love you too much
Our subscriber asked…
“Can you say ‘I love you’ too much? How have the right to I make my partner think that you deserve to not overuse the ‘I love you’ term. He states if we say it too often, that will become meaningless.”
We’ve heard this question much more than once and our answer may surprise you…
First the all, us all involved our relationship with different past experiences, expectations and also desires. Also though it might seem the the human being we loss in love v is as with us, in so many ways (that usually surface ar after you’ve been with each other for rather awhile) they room so different.
The distinctions usually arise indigenous our previous experiences and how our function models (including ours parents) performed their lives and their relationships.
Our news subscriber is through a human being who has a different idea of what the “I love you” term method and how to use.
So have the right to you overuse the hatchet “I love you” ?
According to this man and also probably countless others, yes you can.
Does that average that she doesn’t obtain her needs met and she just has to put up v his ways?
Of food not.
Before we offer some pointers around this situation, we’d like to provide another possible explanation because that these differences.
In neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), civilization are explained to take in information and learn in three different ways…
1. Auditory2. Visual3. Kinesthetic
Although we each take in info in every one of these ways, most of us have actually one dominant way.
What walk this have to do through our topic?
Plenty and also here’s why…
Our news subscriber may be an auditory student (she may like come hear information) and her partner may prefer to get and also give info in one of the two various other ways. He may prefer demonstrations of love as opposed to speak it or he might prefer created notes of love.
We’re just throwing this idea out for girlfriend to consider that we all don’t like to receive and also give details in the very same ways–just together some civilization prefer to usage email to contact people and also others prefer to use the telephone.
There are numerous different reasons why someone may not want someone informing them “I Love You” every the time and here room a couple…
If someone doesn’t desire to overuse the “I Love You” phrase, it can be the they have witnessed other world in their life speak they love someone and also then seeing them doing or saying points that weren’t acts of kindnessor love.
It could additionally be the they witnessed human being saying “I love you” in a means that appeared insincere or trite. Castle may have done this in the previous or observed it done and they don’t want to repeat it.
Here part love advice and also suggestions if friend are encountering this kind of difference in between you and also a love one (or for the matter, any one in your life)…
1. Listen, truly listen, to just how your partner wants to it is in loved. If he/she doesn’t want to talk about the topic, pay fist to how the person shows love for you. Recognize why your partner has that view.
Kelly’s (one of our coaching clients) husband loved she by “doing” things around the residence for her and also by solving things. He also sent her cards and flowers yet saying “I love you” to she wasn’t top on his list. Kelly started opening more to that in ways that showed him she loved him. She began giving the her full attention once he talked through her and by doing that they ended up being closer. And yes, she walk feel more loved also though that didn’t say it much much more often 보다 he had before.
2. Make certain that actions room in alignment with words. for this reason often civilization say “I love you” and also then in the next moment, carry out or speak something that suggests something far various from love. They may not also realize the they are doing it.
Some people grew up in a household that do cutting, sarcastic remarks and also it’s end up being a habit because that them to do it also. They don’t also know that they room doing it–but the various other person constantly does. If a person has witnessed or experienced “I love you” being adhered to by mean-spirited words or actions, they of course will certainly be wary of making use of the term.
So make certain that loving actions monitor this expression of endearment.
3. If your partner is wary of using this expression (for every little thing reason), what are some other ways that you reap being loved? perform you favor foot rubs, who to aid with family chores or the kids, or perhaps an evening a main or a month of pampering?
Tell your companion other methods that you’d choose to be loved due to the fact that saying “I love you”–while it deserve to be special–is no the only means to to express love.
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Whether you have this challenge in your connection or not–we invite you come express real love because that one an additional in many different ways and also explore what’s possible. Make sure that your words and your actions room in alignment as you relocate through your day toward producing the life the you want.